Tale 13 - I could be your hero maybe.

 So it’s a school morning,  and Spotify is playing in the car. We are listening to ‘Hero’ by Enrique Iglesias.

When the song finished, the Sassy Princess asked;

“Have you ever been a hero dad?”

“Lots of times obviously.” I replied.

“Did it you ever try to be a hero and it went wrong?” Asked the Prince of Tales.

“Oh yes!” I replied.

“Tell us the tale!” They said in unison. So I told them about the time I tried to be a hero but ended up a zero!

As part of my role as a teacher, I was on lunchtime duty every day. At the time of this story, my lunchtime duties were outside. One of the problems of duty outside was that when I gave a student a lunchtime detention, I obviously could not sit them unsupervised in a classroom. So, being resourceful, I used to tell the students they had to spend half an hour of their lunch with me on duty. Rather than writing at a desk, they got to listen to my fascinating stories as we walked on the playing fields! 

On this particular day, I had a Year 7 boy with me. What was interesting about this boy was that he was fascinated by lions, and  had the ability (in his opinion) to do an impersonation of a lion by roaring very loudly. You would often see him roaring at children at break and lunch, showcasing his talent.

We were walking around the fields when a Year 8 girl approached me in a great deal of panic.

“Sir, someone has broken into my house. I go home for dinner and have a key, but when I got to my house the door was unlocked.

“Where is your house?” I asked.

The girl pointed to a row of houses just beyond the school field. I walked with the girl, trying to calm her. I asked if possibly her parents were in, but she said they were both definitely at work. These were days before mobile phones, so checking was more difficult.

I walked quickly towards the house. I did not fancy confronting an axe wielding burglar, but I had to do something.

We got to the house.

“Wait outside. I’m sure your parents have just forgot to lock the door, but I will check.” I said.

I opened the door and walked quietly into the kitchen. My heart was beating like a big bass drum! I opened the door slowly to the lounge. All quiet. I carefully checked behind the door. No one there!

I crept upstairs. They creaked. I stopped and listened for any movement. Nothing. I carried on.

I checked the bathroom, all quiet apart from a dripping tap.

I checked each bedroom slowly, creeping from room to room as quietly as I could. My palms were sweating. I got to the final bedroom. All fine. No signs of a break in or an intruder. I let out a massive sigh of relief! All was ok!

Or was it? I had forgotten one important thing.

Remember Lion boy on detention? Well I had! As I walked towards the staircase, Lion boy jumped out from the staircase.

“Rooooooooaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr”! He screamed.

In Tale 6 I told you about how my brother had a bad ear day. Read it, as this was certainly my bad ear moment!”

 “Aaarrrggghhh!” I yelled.

“Sir, don’t worry, it’s me. You were a long time so I thought I’d come upstairs and help. I thought my roar may be useful.”

Still shaking, I walked down the stairs.

When I got outside, the Year 8 girl’s  dad came through the gate. He had been sent home ill and had just gone to the shop for some aspirin. He thanked me for checking, and shook my hand, which needed little shaking!

I walked back to the fields with the Year 7 boy. 

“You can go now, your DT is over.” I whispered.

“Thanks Sir. I liked that. I could help again tomorrow?”

I just stared at him, as it’s very wrong for teachers to swear at students.

The Sassy Princess laughed.

“Were you really scared?” She asked.

“I was petrified. It was the fact that he jumped out when I had relaxed that really scared me.”

The Prince of Tales was thinking. I was waiting for the pearls of wisdom.

“It could have been worse dad” he said. 

“How?” I asked.

“Well if it had been a real lion, he would have eaten you.” he informed me.

“However, you could have stopped this happening by having pieces of meat in your pocket. You could have thrown the lion the meat, and whilst it was eating, you could make your escape.”

I thought the story made me look bad enough, but my poor preparation in case I met a real lion though Is unforgivable!

If ever I return to teaching, I will remember the below thanks to the Prince of Tales;

Remember to put sausages in your pocket if you are on outdoor duty - just in case you meet a lion!”

Have you ever tried to be an hero and it badly failed?

Have you ever had useless advice from a child?

Let me know