Tale 2 - The Fake Footballer

The Prince of Tales (Harry) has set me up!!

Every morning we drive to school. I then have  the great privilege of carrying the bags of  the Prince of Tales and the Sassy Princess(Niamh) into the school yard. 

When we get to the yard, the Sassy Princess immediately ditches me as I have no Tik Tok street credit whatsoever. I might get a kiss but depends who is looking. The Prince of Tales stands with me though until his best friend arrives. When he arrives, I am ditched like a turd shaken from a shoe.

That was until a few days ago. I noticed he had started making new friends. On top of this, the school commented at Parents Evening  what a wonderful socialite he had suddenly become.

What glitter had the Prince of Tales spread to cause this change?

I soon found out.

A little boy sidled up to me. He stared at me for a while.

"Hello" I said

"Are you Harry's dad"

"Yes"

"Wicked. Who was the  best footballer you ever played?

" I don't think you would know him."

" What position did you play?"

"Err mainly Centre Back"

"Do you know Cristiano Ronaldo?"

I shook my head, but at this stage I had some concerns.

I called the Prince of Tales over.

"Have you told your class I am a footballer"

"Yes

"Why?"

"Did you play football when you were younger"

"Well yes but..."

"Then you were a footballer. Its not a lie."

His conscience was clean, and with this he ran off to his new friends who were gazing at me adoringly.

Each day I look at the other parents and carers in the yard. They look to be staring at me. In my head they are saying:

" Who the hell is he? "

" He thinks he is somebody"

"I've never known a footballer drive a Fiat Panda"

I want to go over and explain myself, but then I think maybe they don't know. Maybe it's  my imagination. I could make it worse. I could come across like a right *****.

Playing dumb and saying nothing is a new talent I am perfecting thanks to the Prince of Tales. Surely the rumours would in time go away and be forgotten.

That evening at the end of school,  the Sassy Princess  approached me in the yard in front of her friends!!

She informed me that one boy in the Class 3 had stood up in class and said his  favourite person in the world to talk to was Harry's dad who speaks to him every morning about football and would be someone he could confide in.

The Prince of Tales joined us as the Sassy Princess told the story. I asked the Prince who is favourite person was.

"Anyone who plays Roblox"

Think that was his way of saying not you loser. Take the “L”

     Have your children ever told a white lie about you to embarrass you? Share any funny stories below?