Tale 9 - Magpie

 One of the biggest fears a teacher can have in the classroom is being asked a question they can't answer. 

Luckily, I was well prepared for this at Carnegie College Leeds where I did my degree. When I asked a wise lecturer what he would do, he told me to turn the question on its head and say;

"What a fabulous question. For homework I want all the class to find out the answer. The first student to see me tomorrow with the correct answer gets a prize."

The children still think you know the answer as your going to tell them if it's right in the morning, so your academic reputation stays intact! Research the answer yourself that evening  and get that pencil sharpener you never use and still looks new out for the prize! Simple. 

In 30 years of teaching I used this line once. I was asked what the tallest mountain in Canada was as we were studying North America. I gave the children the research question, found out it was Mount Logan and one lucky child got a lovely pencil sharpener.(Nearly new) Teacher reputation intact, Year 9 class get answer, one lucky child gets prize. Everyone’s a winner!

So, when I became a House Husband, I did not expect to get questions that I did not  know the answers to, especially as the Sassy Princess is 10 and the Prince of Tales only 8! 

How wrong I was. 

In only a couple of years my reputation as gone. The Prince of Tales loves to ask a question, and he has some beauties.

For example;

Why is it called a pair of trousers when it is only one item?

My smug response. "Well son, we have a pair of legs hence we need a pair of trousers."

The Prince nodded saying "That's true, but I have two arms and don't put on a pair of jumpers." 

Smugness disappears.

If light travels so quickly, why is darkness there first. 

My response. Didn't have one. He looked at me with disgust. 

" I thought teachers knew everything!"

Obviously not this one, and anyway I’m a House Husband not a teacher.

Right smart arse I thought. I'll give you a taste of your own medicine. 

"Prince of Tales - What came first, the chicken or the egg?" 

There was silence. In my head I thought  "Got you this time. How do you like it smart arse." 

He turned to me and said "Neither." 

I scoffed. "How can it be neither! It's got to be one or the other!!" 

He shook his head. "Dad, it can't be a chicken or egg. It is either chickens or eggs that came first. An egg or chicken on its own cannot continue the species."

Speechless. Spot the idiot and it’s not the Prince of Tales.

So what do I do? Buy the Encyclopaedia Britannica and start revising? Watch quiz shows religiously? Or come up with a really childish diversion tactic?

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to MAGPIE!

Every time I see a magpie, I shout MAGPIE, and we have to sing the magpie song;

"One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl and four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told, Magpie." 

I have told the Sassy Princess and the Prince of Tales we must sing this whenever we see a magpie or our family will have terrible bad luck. 

Bizarrely, and a real coincidence - I usually see the most magpies when the Prince has a hard question or a theory.  I am currently singing the magpie song two or three times a day.

Clever dad or bad dad. I'll take it!! 

Have you ever been asked a question you can't answer by your children? How did you get out of it!!