Tale 52 - Snooker Loopy!

 On the way to school, we were all listening to Capital Radio. 

One of the presenters said they had an obsession with cappuccino. This stared a debate about what an obsession was.

“In very simple terms it’s something you really really like” I said.

“Roblox for me!” Said the Prince of Tales 

“Singing and Dancing for me!” Said the Sassy Princess.

“Football and football shirts for you!” They both said in unison, laughing.

“Do you know anyone with an unusual obsession dad?” Asked the Sassy Princess.

“Oh yes!” I replied.

And the tale of my grandma and her obsession with snooker began.

My grandma loved snooker. Not playing it, she never held a snooker cue in her life! Watching it was her obsession. In the 1980s she would be glued to every tournament. As there was only one TV in the house, this meant everyone else in the house was also watching snooker!

She was not a passive viewer either. She loved Steve Davis. He was like the son she never had. Anyone who tried to beat him was verbally abused!

She never forgave Dennis Taylor for beating him in the final frame on the final black ball in the World Championships. He was a silly Irishman with stupid glasses (Strange as her mum was Irish and we were as Roman Catholic as the Pope!)

Same with Joe Johnson. He may have been from Bradford but he dared to beat her hero! He was a lucky git! 

But the biggest villain of all was Alex Higgins. To my grandma, he was the absolute opposite of Steve Davis!  Higgins was the Devil and pure evil,  and Davis was the angel who came to save the world! When they played each other my grandma would be shouting at the TV set, convinced they could both hear her!

If Davis won, everything would be rosy. I would be tucked up in bed with a kiss.

If Higgins won she would scowl, and I would hear her talking to herself angrily in bed (Matches always finished very late at night and bed would immediately follow the end of the game!) 

I could forget the kiss! 

She was snooker loopy! She even had a picture of Steve Davis on her wall next to the family photos!

But the strangest part of all this is my grandma only had a black and white TV! All the balls looked the same colour except the white and the yellow! This was a major issue when watching the game!

In 1992, I graduated as a PE teacher from Carnegie College Leeds. I got my first job at Holy Trinity Senior School in Halifax in August 1992. In September 1992, I received my first wage packet. There was only one thing I was going to buy!

I owed my grandma a lot. She had fed and cared for me since I was 10, and was continuing to do so. To buy her a colour TV was my dream. I wanted to give her the chance to watch the sport she loved actually knowing what was going on!

I went to Comet in Bradford and checked out the colour television section. They were not cheap, and I ended up picking one I could pay for monthly over 12 months.

The added bonus was it had a remote control! This would mean my grandma would also not have to get up every time she needed to change channel!

I was very excited on delivery day. I told my grandma I had a surprise for her!

The lorry came up the road, and a trolley brought the large cardboard box into the house.

My grandma opened the box.

“A TV?” She said 

“Yes!“ I replied excitably.

“But I’ve got one!” My grandma replied.

“Yes, but this one is colour with remote control!” I proudly announced.

She did not seem to excited, but surely this would change when the snooker was on.

I set everything up, and gave her the remote control. 

I was very excited with myself.

I put the black and white TV in the box that was now empty.

“Shall I take the old TV to the tip?” I asked.

“Oh no!” She said, horrified. “Keep it just in case. Someone may want it.”

To my knowledge, my grandma was the only woman in the western world who still had a black and white TV. Unless she kept the TV for years and it became a collectible antique, storing it was just a waste of space. However, I did as she asked and put it in the spare bedroom.

Those first few days I was so proud of the TV. My grandma did not comment much on it, even when the snooker came on. All she said was, “You are very generous but you shouldn’t have!”

A few weeks later, I went on a weekend away to see some old school friends. I returned home to a shock!

“We have been broken into!” My grandma informed me.

“Oh no! Was there any damage and what did they take?” I asked.

“No damage, they must have got through a window I left open and then escaped out of the front door. I have some bad news though. They took the TV!” she replied sadly.

I looked in the corner of the room. There was an empty space where the TV once stood. 

I looked at my grandma sadly.

She cuddled me. “Never mind. Go upstairs and get the black and white TV and set it back up. Thank goodness we kept it!”

I did as she requested. At the time I was glad she took it so well. She seemed excited, maybe for my benefit, to have the old TV back.

When I set the old black and white TV back up again, my grandma put the snooker on. She sat there, smiling - glued to the TV.

I was amazed how well she was taking the ordeal. 

Maybe a little too well!

Looking back, older and wiser, I often think;

- She loved snooker on her black and white TV. I knew that, so why did I try and change that! Sometimes, however strange it may same, people are happy as they are. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it! 

- Where the bloody hell did she put my colour TV. I am pretty sure it ended up at a neighbours house! 

I have fabulous memories of my grandma. There was no doubting though she was at her happiest when watching Steve Davis thrash Alex Higgins on her old black and white TV! I have a little sports bar in my house, and her picture of Steve Davis hangs proudly on my wall.

The Sassy Princess smiled. “You should have asked her what she wanted.”

True, but I know she would have said nothing.

“You got it all wrong!” Said the Prince of Tales.

“You are right.” I replied.

“When you bought it you should not have gone away for the weekend. You should have staked out the house and kept your eye on her movements. If you had tracked her and watched her every move, this pretend theft would have never happened.” he explained.

I am not sure the Prince of Tales hardline approach to present giving is one I will be adopting!

Have you got a relative with an unusual, maybe bonkers, obsession? Let me know!