Tale 21 - The role (or maybe roll) model

 The Prince of Tales is not the most confident in the water. When we go on holiday, we need to build his confidence up!

This year though he had high hopes.

“Dad, I am going to try and walk on water!” He told us. 

We were staying in Crete and we were very lucky that our hotel was close to the beach. 

The sea was very interesting though! 

The shallow part or paddling area was the most dangerous. It was littered with sharp pebbles and was where the large waves broke and clattered into you! If you got past the shallow area your feet hit golden sand and you could jump the waves before they broke!

We found this to our cost the first day. The Prince of Tales stood in the shallow area and took one step and got knocked off his feet by a wave! He tried to stand up and got whacked by another, then another!

It was fair to say his mojo had been hit and his batteries needed recharging!

I felt I was the man to rebuild his confidence, so we had a tactical discussion later that night.

“What is the main problem with walking on water?” I asked.

“The first step is easy” he said. “It is the second that’s the most tricky, especially with the waves.”

“So what do you plan to improve next time you have a go?” I asked.

“I plan to improve my ability to walk on water.” He replied.

“Yes, but what will you do to improve your technique?” I probed.

“My technique will be to walk as I normally do, but on water.” He responded.

“OK, but how will you get better at it ?” I asked.

“I will get better because rather than doing one step on water, I will do two or three.” He spluttered!

He was as irritated by my questions as I was with his answers.

The next day we did not mention the sea or walking on water, but late in the afternoon, the Prince of Tales declared he was “Ready for another go!”

We walked down to the beach. The waves were in full effect!

The Dancing Queen was concerned!  (This is his mum, Leanne, but we don’t reveal her real name as she often does silly things. We protect her identity by calling her The Dancing Queen instead of mum or Leanne.)

“It’s too dangerous!” Said The Dancing Queen .

The Dancing Queen, to be fair, had recent experience of the waves in Crete. 

She had bought two pairs of sunglasses for £50 prior to the holiday. A buy one get one free deal, a right bargain. One her first day, she placed them on her head, walked into the shallow area, and you guessed it, got floored by the waves. Sunglasses flew off and were lost to the sea forever!

Thank goodness she bought two pairs right?

Wrong!

An hour later she did exactly the same thing, got whacked again and lost her final pair. Fifty quid a day she paid for sunglasses! Not a right bargain! 

So if anyone knew the danger, it was the Dancing Queen.

“It’s not safe. Don’t let him do it!” She pleaded.

I understood her concern. However, if I could get the Prince of Tales past the shallow zone, he would be safe.

“He needs to overcome this!” I told the Dancing Queen. “This is a personal battle for him. A key moment in his life. I will speak to him so he understands what to do, then walk him out quickly and get him to the safe zone. It will be fine.” I reassured her.

“Your wrong!” She told me. “You need to be a better role model!” And with that  she walked off in a huff.

I sat Harry down. He was ready for his second attempt to walk on water. I held his hand. 

We were about to walk where no man (Apart from Jesus Harry reminded me) had walked before. What a father and son moment!

It was then it happened. 

It was like a slow motion scene from Baywatch. 

The Dancing Queen went full sprint at the sea, hitting the base of the first six foot wave. It whacked her. She got up again, and went for the eight foot wave. It smashed, her, causing her to do about 6 forward rolls. Next she threw herself at the 10 foot wave. Total carnage!

Surely she was doing this to save someone’s life? 

We then heard the shrill whistle of the coast lifeguard who was also running to the sea!

Wow. The Dancing Queen must be saving a life as help is coming!!

Sadly not!

The lifeguard was screaming at the Dancing Queen to get out of the water. 

It was a red flag area she was forward rolling in like a mad English lady.

The whole family was banned from the beach.

As she trudged out of the sea, I went over to her. I had a question.

“What the hell was that all about. You were warning us about walking in then seconds later you are attacking the waves full sprint, head first!”

I was hoping for a reason that explained her actions.

I was disappointed.

“I just fancied it!” She said.

The Prince of Tales looked at me.

“Next time we come to the beach, can mummy (The Dancing Queen) stay by the pool. She is an idiot!”

Wise words from the Prince of Tales. He decided the pool maybe a better place to walk on water. After all, it would be away from both big waves and The Dancing Queen.

And so you know, The Prince of Tales never fails! He found a way.

As your partner ever given you great advice that they have immediately ignored themselves! Let me know!